Thursday, December 23, 2004

What a Difference a Century Makes

Well kids, it's hard to believe, but we're approaching the five-year point since we all said "ciao" to the roaring 1990s. It might be a good time to take a moment and review where we were back then, and where we are now.
To that end, I've written up a little comparison of then and now, looking at myself - how I was in 1999, and how things are now. I suppose things aren't as great as they used to be, but hey, there's always the future. For extra "wacky" effect, I've posed this list of comparisons in the third person, so "he" in the following is, well, me. Your ol' pal, Mikey. Oh and "Happy Christmas" as those British say.

1999: Was a 7-handicap golfer
2004: Killed 7 handicapped golfers

1999: Could not imagine 9/11
2004: Could not remember 9/11

1999: Occasionally forgot to take a lunch to work
2004: Occasionally forgets to take self to work

1999: Claimed familiarity with 80% of the words in Webster's Collegiate Dictionary
2004: Claims familiarity with 80 words in Webster's Collegiate Dictionary

1999: Mike complains about how badly his Mustang handles the roads in winter
2004: Mustang complains about how badly Mike handles the roads in winter

1999: Lived about one mile from a local Aldi
2004: Is about one year away from working at Aldi

1999: Won his first dart match against a difficult opponent
2004: Won his second dart match against a difficult opponent

1999: Had annoying habit of letting hair grow to the point of resembling a homeless Michael Landon
2004: No change.

1999: Wondered what might happen in the 21st century
2004: Wonders what happened in the 21st century

1999: Occasionally played pool for money
2004: Occasionally cleans pools for money

1999: Was a promising software engineer working for a failing company
2004: Is a failing software engineer working for a promising company

1999: Was in a band, playing area bars and clubs
2004: Is now banned from area bars and clubs

1999: Planned for New Year's Millennium celebration
2004: Still recovering from New Year's Millennium celebration

1999: Sold the condo that was purchased in 1995
2004: Sold unused condom that was purchased in 1995

1999: Complained about unreliable cellular provider
2004: Cellular provider complains about unreliable Mike

1999: Feared the dreaded "Y2K" bug
2004: Fears this dreaded "U-NOT-FUNNY" blog


Vox Improba said...

1999: Rumors
2004: Blogs

The Histrionics of a Fat Housewife said...

So, how 'bout a follow up? I know it's not five years since then, but the big 20 years since high school graduation is just begging a comparison.

The Vapid Voice said...

You're probably right, I suppose I'm about due. Then again, the sequel is never as good as the original. Oh, the dilemma. I think I'd be worried about this entry just being patently depressing. But hey - nothing wrong with a sad old clown!