Monday, December 26, 2005

An Open Letter To Christ

Happy birthday, asshole,

If anyone believes in karma, or the biblical dream of the kind-hearted folks being rewarded, let them show themselves and their proof. I tried doing the Christian thing by giving my worldly possessions for others, and now I’m disdained, frowned upon, and disrespected. This December has been insane – tons of people very close to me have been hospitalized, I’ve had my own personal hell, and no single day has been purely normal. Yes, Christmas is all sweet and mushy, and I can reminisce about the Charlie Brown cartoons as a kid, this was nothing but a day. I am a respectful Christian, but for this year, I must say… Hey J.C, happy fucking birthday – now go back to doing nothing and watching passively as the “sinful” world classifies me as a destitute worm. Hey Christ, you know I gave up almost everything to support other people? Oh yeah, one was dying of disease. Where are all the church services on my birthday? You didn’t have it so bad, zippy. I’ll take 16 hours nailed to a cross any day, over gradual defeat, unwarranted persecution, and eventual poverty in the interest of Christian selflessness. I know I’m going to Heaven because I know your teachings and actually do believe in you. Do you understand that your teachings, when followed ardently, can create a miserable existence? Oh wait, I must respect my body, it’s the temple of the Lord. How do I respect my “temple” if I can’t afford food, Captain Genius? For someone so allegedly omniscient, you really suck at expressing yourself, especially when those biblical contradictory thoughts rival a Bazooka Joe comic.
People who go beyond the call of duty as a Christian should – no must – be rewarded a little bit during their earthy existence. That classic question, why do good hearted, loving people die unnecessarily or give themselves without reward? Conveniently the answer is “the sins of the world…” Nice try.

Why do people give up believing in you? If you don’t see why, then stop now and remind yourself that you’re a fucking moron that can’t even speak Aramaic without contradictions and pointless aphorisms. You’re a loving god – and loving people down here in the ‘hood, well they get pummeled to death by thugs. Oh but that’s due to the evils of the world injected by Satan. Pass it off like a forged “sick day” note from mom. Your intent is for humans to love those as they would want to be loved, then we are trampled when giving ourselves up as you might hope. Various millionaires have lived flawless lives, selfishly and heartlessly. Read that hastily compiled bible – human suffering was to be showered upon the pagans and evil doers. After hurricane Katrina, devout Christians even erected simple chapels to pray to you. Let’s see, they are incredibly devout followers of you, and they stay faithful despite “evil” destruction. If you have the power, strength, and knowledge, as a loving god, to change things, maybe throw those people a bone and whip up a subtle miracle or nice surprise? Your teachings may be well intended, but you’re a real asshole in terms of backing us up in the late innings. Thank a lot, mister ambivalent. Go back to sleep.

Relationship Injustice Part Three

Relationships are hardly any easier to maintain than the black and white days of cherry cola, drive-in movies and poodles skirts Young couples allowed the girl to incite asinine games of cat and mouse, inevitably withering the male admirer right into the mythical city of Testosteronto, Canada; where young men were sentenced to masturbatory purgatory. Girls from the “golden age” had obligations to emit purity, chastity, and a wholesome quality that belied their internally suppressed hormonal intentions. Girls, in other words, had to keep their legs together or else the scarlet letter of tawdriness might be emblazoned on their cute, yet conservative, sweater.

Now that expressionism has carried its weight to the forefront, and sexual freedom has reared its moderately tolerable head, we have scary lesbians beating up buildings, eating taxis, and stuffing philosophies into popular forums. Since all are now free to scream their wishes and inner urges to the condom-collecting lobotomy survivors that define our young adults, the game of “catch me if you can” grows into a complex realm of intellectual bargaining – love and romance, as it were, comprise a small fraction of the relationships any more – it’s completely a matter of having a job interview, winning the chase, beating the other contestants, and deciding as to the veracity of one’s thoughts and plans. As I have mentioned, marriage carries a stigma of stupidity, as if all others are too smart to fall into such a pointless arrangement. Codependence is a dangerous facet of coupling. Nevertheless, men and women have become so self sufficient, dare I say selfish, that they approach a potential partner with the “what have I got to lose?” attitude. With that philosophy will come mind games, suspicion, apathy for the other, and a general lack of effort toward compiling a friendship into a meaningful relationship, and perhaps, a family.

Women, in the old days, were groomed to find a man and be a good wife and mother. Their futures were directly reliant on finding a mate, as if they had no hope for survival on their own. In this era, since the rite of marriage is abused by people who hastily marry and divorce at an alarming rate, independence and self-sufficiency reign supreme, dismissing marriage as an anachronistic crutch of weakness, rather than a commitment to family, long term plans, and devotion. On a positive note, from my view, friends have waited at least 3 years until marrying; this shows an element of circumspect, resolve, and respect for the institution, rather than the drive thru chapels that litter Las Vegas.

It’s amazing how simple it really can be to just have a sincere relationship. People jump through hoops to impress or fascinate their partner, all the while shrouding the interaction in smoke and mirrors, thus dooming the clarity of its future. Stop it. Do you suck? Don’t hide it. Are you a loser? Don’t hide it. If you hide it for the sake of keeping a spouse, that’s idiotic and hopeless. Nothing is more admired and loved than sincerity, regardless of what is being revealed. Females are incredibly likely to be suspicious of duplicitous men, keeping up a fa├žade until they can ensnare their quarry. I’ve always thought that a poor fellow who hides nothing is far more loved than a rich one who carries masks and hides blemishes. I have so much respect for women who simply look for a person they love, regardless of circumstance, rather than “urban” classy women who seek the successful man. A woman who places success or status above sincerity and true friendship – well, they can take their trendy clothes and shove them up their collective squacks… they are soulless pigs and don’t deserve to bear children.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

This Marriage Stuff

Situational harmony is the empathis of wedded bliss, as it were. What one forgets is the focus of the conceptually permanent bond one is to be forging with their beloved; it's sought as a title, a bragging right, and a convenient means for rite of passage. I wish anyone seeking matrimonial formalities would just wait - just wait. Is there a real necessity, other than tax implications, to finalize the legality of one's partnership? It's a silently powerful killer of people's goals, dreams, ideals, and intentions for the future, when one is locked into a legal contract of sorts at too young an age. Certainly many couples find their dream partner at an early age and there is no question as to the veracity of the bond. In most other cases (i.e. the divorce rate) many find someone they can see as a feasible sidekick, and perhaps because of the need to escape ugly domestic situations, or to seek an atmosphere of apparent stability, the decision for wedlock is hatched and sealed.

I wince at the occasions when I sense a marriage being sealed for anything but pure destiny and spiritual harmony, a scenario that seems to emerge a fraction of the time in weddings. Divorce and anullment carry such a brutal stigma of shame and myopia, even in this era, many fear the retribution of carrying through with the proceedings, despite a loveless domestic setting. If divorce didn't carry such a societal stench of shame, many relationships would be freed of their self-imposed bonds, but yet again many more marriages might be hastily forged without regard for the shame of failure. Marriage, like puberty, old age, or death, was an institution brought forth by pagan sects and ripped off by most religions. It was an implied pact - to carry through raising offspring with a consistent mother and father. Not this bullshit of property separation, agreements, and licensure.

Marriage has dissolved into a status symbol - a title, nothing more. A "married" man has a license and likely a woman with the same last name. Marriage, boiled down, is in the heart, spirit, and intentions of the couple. This is where I tend to find much value in the supposedly anachronistic common law marriage legislation that still lingers in various jurisdictions. If people are together, living together, for 7, 8 or say 10 years, they're married by definition. Marriage licenses should be issued with a minimum amount of time that the couple has been together, with validation. People marrying after 3 months - that's a mockery of the institution. I've proclaimed that the concept is a poor one, but all along I realized it's poor because it has gained too much weight as a status. People say that marriage is horrible because half of them end in divorce. Why? Because people are fucking morons. If people respected this institution as much as, say, drinking poison, we'd all be better off. Half of all people die of drinking poison. Awwww. Bye bye dipshit. Natural selection didn't select you. That type of thing. They can rot in hell.

Is marriage bad? No. I always said it was, and I realized the opposite. People don't understand its true meaning, and use it, abuse it, or throw it around like the scum that have 8 kids with 8 mothers. The rite of matrimony should only be granted to a couple that has passed a comprehensive test, an IQ test, a psychological examination, and harsh screenings. It should be earned. A marriage license is far easier to attain than a driver's license. Think about that. Maybe just a day by day life with the one you love is the best step to take... titles like "wife" or "husband" have lost the value they once held, so why bother jumping the gun. Couples are couples, and relationships must always prevail in lifelong choices. You don't need to go through a silly ceremony to prove to your beloved that you are devoted. Just be devoted.