Monday, August 28, 2006

The F Word (friend)

I'm very very distant from using the word "friend". It took 35 years, but I realized that apart from my girlfriend and my parents, I have no true friends, in the classic sense. That's understandable, and the typical response of "maybe it's partly your fault" is inevitable as well. I admit fault in many ways, but people don't just call to say hi, or call to "shoot the breeze" to use the antiquated colloquialism. So why did such people ever know me in the first place? There were drugs in the golden era, some may have wanted to whoop it up in that context. Some were probably just bored and knew I'd be out to the bars on any given night. Others just were bored. It sucks to realize that most people called me to serve a particular purpose - or to allow me to be a reason to hang out. Once things became tricky for me, like losing a job, the "friends" stopped calling. Most people ran away saying that I had lost my mind. If so, then the good ones would've still stuck around.

I can stand on my ethical pedestal because I am one of the few who actually call people just to check on them and say hi. Sue me, it's a silly concept, but appreciated by many from the old days. A friend should have no ulterior motives and merely care. It's a shame to see how rare such relationships emerge. Treasure them with all the zeal you can muster.

Rule #1: You won't meet real friends in bars, most of the time. There are exceptions, but usually it's pertinent to the situation of having a few drinks and unwinding.

Rule #2 : If you don't hear from someone after a month, they aren't a friend.

Rule #3: People are fickle - the good ones stick behind you and think about you. The rest just turn their backs when it's no longer convenient or entertaining.

Rule #4: Don't rely on others for their approval. To hell with them. Once you separate the truly good ones from the superficial slugs and sluts, it will be far easier to tune out the pathetic opinions of such assholes and merely focus on the thoughts of those that really care.
The ONLY opinions that matter are those of your own and those of the true friends in your life. This is the most important point. Decide who matters, and discard the rest. Most people will belch their opinions to you but it's your job to flush them down the toilet.

Rule #5: If someone doesn't care about you, it doesn't mean you have to be reciprocal. Care about them and hold thy head up high, thus proverbially turning the other cheek. I will always care about some people that now despise me...I just do, and regardless of their resentment, I will help whenever possible. I'll take a lot of abuse, but so what. I'd rather they saw this tendency and changed their direction, than continue being hateful and uncaring.

Rule #6: Help anyone you can. It's hard to help a person you'd since determined to be an "un-friend" but it's just good karma to be there just in case. It's not much of an investment in future payback, but you'll feel like a good person, just for being there and helping.

Rule #7: Don't let others determine who you are. If people hurt you with their opinions and thoughts, it's up to you to maintain self sufficiency and cast aside such idiotic notions. If you intend for the best, aren't exploiting anyone, and just keeping to yourself, then everyone else can rot in hell.--

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