Friday, June 29, 2007

Tribute To Summer

I live for the summer months - it's when I want to be outside, get my much needed sunlight, and feel more in touch with the outdoor world. The smells are good, the air has that density to it with the looming thunderstorm, and just the mere moisture in the air is good for the soul. People go outside and do things. They play softball, golf, take walks, just generally do healthy, happy stuff, rather than sit in bars or munch chocolate in front of the TV when it's 20 below outside. The environment is simply better for everyone. Since we don't have a natural fur coat (well, most of us) it's logical to assume that we are designed to live in temperate climates. I just don't get the Eskimos, or those tribes that live in the desert. What are you thinking?

I get completely annoyed when some people, usually fat people, start extolling the virtues of "sweater weather", that is, the autumn months when the weather is "crisp" (hate that term) and it's constantly 51 degrees outside. You know what, fatso? You don't need the sweater. Let your piggish blubber insulate against the chilling, death-laced winds of autumn. Sorry that you can't stand up from a seat without your fat, leaky butt sticking to it, or your monstrous thighs adhering to anything that can't fight back. If summer is too hot for you, then move to Canada. They started a country and nobody showed up, so head on up there - it's always "sweater weather" up there - then in winter, it's "death weather". Have fun fighting the seals for salmon. I'm not a fan of winter, if you couldn't tell.

As a heterosexual male, it's also very nice to see the ladies dressing skimpy during this season. Everything becomes a bit more pleasant, like waiting in line at the store, riding a train, whatever, when there is eye candy involved. Thankfully, most of the time, the unshapely people know better not to dress themselves inappropriately in public, though the occasional Cleopatra (Queen of Denial) pops up, and eyes are easily averted. We can all prevent sight pollution if we keep a little sense of dignity in mind.

Yes, I love the hot humid days, but I also have air conditioning. I understand, and have survived, the true abysmal hell of trying to sleep in a 90 degree room with high humidity and miserable conditions in general. So in a sense, I may be jaded there, but I've played golf in 110 degree heat, pitched a complete game in the same heat, and with enough water, all is fine. Just being sensible about the heat is all it takes to survive. A little sweat never killed anyone. People pay to sit in saunas and steam rooms for this type of cleansing, where during the summer months, mother nature is providing it free of charge.

It's a scientific assertion that the more we are in the sun, the more it positively affects our brains, helps supply vitamins, and is, ultraviolet rays notwithstanding, beneficial. So get out and take a walk. Don't bother complaining when there is the ugliness of winter waiting.

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