Thursday, September 28, 2006

Things You Shouldn't Say In a Neighborhood Bar

Things you shouldn't say in a crowded, creepy tavern

- Who likes fraud?!

- I'll give you 3 bucks to manually dehydrate your testicles.

- I hate people with hair

- Hey, bartender, you promised you'd extinguish all the Mexicans for me!

- Gimme a Hitler Martini with a twist of Jew

- Anyone wanna star in a snuff film?

- Can I please collect the cheese from where the fat guys were sitting?

- Hey Frank, that's not a prostitute. That's a vending machine. Ah, nevermind.

- I'll take the Cubs on that bet.

- Does anyone have change for a hundred? (saw that one coming)

- I may have missed the gay bar, but my compass is still pointing north!

3 comments:

Lippz said...

fat guys and cheese,? and u thouhgt I was wierd. Thats just sick, like someone biteing their finger/nails and then sticking it into a big bowl of chips! Chips anyone? Don't ever thouch the bowls of freebies!

The Vapid Voice said...

Well said, Lippz. You win a free massage! Hee hee.

Anonymous said...

Score! I win hands down!:>