Monday, June 09, 2008

Spam Review #10

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Pelham vytt{
Date: Sat, Jun 7, 2008 at 4:45 AM
Subject: Everybody's raving about these wonder drugs

And beginning a few years ago, everyone was wondering about raving drugs. Folks!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: TermLifeAgent
Date: Sun, Jun 8, 2008 at 10:36 AM
Subject: A Secure Future for You, an Optimistic Future for Them.

Who the hell is "Them"? The tomato plants I have growing in the yard? The PLO? The squirrels that haunt me every time I say the name "Mama Celeste"? Van Morrison's band from the 1960s? Stop torturing me with pronouns!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: hillyer varkey
Date: Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 2:05 AM
Subject: You look really stupid mikeydhh

Aw, come on. Do I really? I'm trying to shed a couple pounds and plan to get a nice haircut. You just wait until my makeover.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: delmor hernando
Date: 2008/6/7
Subject: You look really stupid mikeydhh

Oh, you too? What the hell did I do to deserve this?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Jeramie
Date: Fri, Jun 6, 2008 at 8:09 AM
Subject: Hard as a rock

Your giant apparatus will make her wet

Yes it will. It's my 50 foot long garden house, attached to the spigot on the side of the house. That'll make anyone wet. Hey, it's summer.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Zaida Heimark
Date: Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 9:14 PM
Subject: increased sweating; increased yawning; loss of
appetite; nausea adam

The goldsmith? by do. by chef the trial. As bribe To remission. Be or retailer. I or controller. The is exemplary medal promotion.
almighty it psoriasis. Of inexpensive do scandal. on fortunate? For of conjoint skate. Of constrained That emeritus. by brick. on my graduate. Is do fountain pagan tomcat. architect at witty. my chill, bubble an internal.

Ok, these aren't even complete sentences. I remember that architectural firm, Witty. Who's the chief architect there? Who's on your graduate? Mrs. Robinson? I was bubbling an internal as well, but that was from yesterday's chili.

Of harsh. With is capability, ultraviolet. And proceeding ballistic. To midland a swept monopoly. do the wing rule moisture. gait is positive. glow acting in amount.

It's a new dance! Let's all do the "Wing Rule Moisture!". I've swept Monopoly before...once I took Park Place and Boardwalk, forget it.

He businessman? the Which. It precious a proceedings. A
greeting On moderate. As the without. My of crying. Of be victor competent embed. proximity go typically. To diet on being. But conjugate? Are on ordinance steam. Or sought To nobody. A alley. you it upheld. Not he guarantee niche boar. conglomerate or calculate. an wallpaper, allied as praise.

He businessman? Yes, me Tarzan, he businessman. Ah, Victor Competent, he was a competent pianist. So you're on "ordinance steam"? Is that like a code phrase for some drug I've yet to hear of? I'll go with "calculate".

on throughout. Or my hesitation, porter. was glazing patten.
on attention go breakup hermit. in no sincere spokesman dense. excursion a influential. sparrow snug be exemplary. Be of vast scholastic. Which do the flex no whereupon. A by contemplate. In it scout cobra community. For it edible labor spit. missile my cultivation. abuse to logical organisation. Go spade. her turning enemy curl.
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music. No eddy. I so wrath. Or my persuasive endanger communicate. butt by occupant. go laminate, boron the blockbuster.

First, don't be calling me a porter. I quit that job years ago. Remember the breakup hermit? He used to just stay home and offer to call peoples' significant others and announce the breakup. Handy fellow. And I'm fed up with the cobra community. They're just a bunch of bikers that ride their Harleys and cause trouble at taverns. Yes. Go Spade! He's a good guy, so what if he's black, and got that nasty nickname. No Eddy? Damn, I was hoping he'd be around. I will now go and laminate. I follow orders.

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something. It decoration go imitate. I caretaker? To a recommend publish. That horoscope by shiny. on slag. Not by drama. For to arcane crave onyx. elemental he dispersal. it pure, form or thumb. it sheath? it For. so specialised no chevalier. Be inning With bonds. My be instrumentation. his so seasonal. so or abiding theatrical chamber. teaser he airs. in nucleus be chart.

She has a carrier? Like of a disease? Darn. She can be a carrier, you can't be a caretaker. Bonds isn't playing, so he's not in any inning. Yes, the Periodic chart has atomic information, and as such, a nucleus in every element. You should know that, and if you didn't, that explains your nasty case of podium acne. Probably you caught it from that carrier.

As electronics? I at contents sampler. her unveil As ground.
I finding. do an technique. in a carpeting subconscious woke. platinum the jigsaw. so with, japan it indignation. At stratification? it Go. And science no accelerator. his brave At imply. it a serve. was a fullness. My or turnout peasant slightly. directive go booth. her skiing it acknowledgment.

I loved that character from that show - Platinum the Jigsaw! He was so cute. What, science without an accelerator? How are you going to accelerate particles now? So much for Fermi Labs. Keep skiing.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Letofsky Rutenberg
Date: Thu, Jun 5, 2008 at 5:02 AM
Subject: cubs gnarly


Battle, the parthas being headed by yudhishthira, first restrain
his own self if he desires to restrain who goes on the stand. thackeray not only created he houses himself in empty abodes of men. He sleeps will shoot shafts with great energy for the destruction see, that the speaker had risen from behind the the late hour, mr. Lincoln's bedroom was invaded acts. i never act fruitlessly. I am adorned with.

Halloha to you too. Yes the Cubs are most gnarly - hell, they have the best record in baseball at present. Can't wait to see these shafts. Are they of Mr. Lincoln? With what are you adorned? Clearly you don't act fruitlessly, this message was clear as a freshly cleaned window.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Raj
Date: Wed, Jun 4, 2008 at 8:51 AM
Subject: Make your hot rod longer

I have a beat up old Mustang, isn't that still considered a hot rod? Can I lengthen it? I need more trunk space, but be warned that the spoiler is loose, and who knows might have jammed something into the exhaust pipe. But yeah, a longer hot rod. Very appealing. I'm game.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: batholomew ned
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2008 at 10:23 AM
Subject: You look really stupid mikeydhh

Aw, come on, Ned. Now you're just piling on.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: TV on Your PC
Date: Mon, Jun 2, 2008 at 2:21 PM
Subject: Stop Paying the Cable Guy

I did, and the cable stopped its service. It's kind of a 50/50 proposition.


Fagedaboutit said...

You're still reading spam?
Man...and I thought I was bored!

The Vapid Voice said...

No, I use them for comedic fodder, FunnyPants. I have 1210 emails in my spam folder, so I don't read them. And yes, you are bored.